6 Years!

It has been almost 6 years since I have posted anything.

I went on vacation, and never came back.

Literally a life's worth of events have happened since then. To say my life is completely different is an understatement.

I am no longer a "pastor", at least, vocationally. I am now a husband, and a father of two. I've moved to an island, work in sales for tech company, enjoy getting up early, and hardly watch movies, or play video games anymore. I even sold my truck. :) I've been through many struggles I never dreamed of facing; I regularly experience more joy and peace than I thought possible.

One thing remains though: I still follow Jesus. Yet even that seems to be fleshed out almost entirely different from how it was back then, most days at any rate.

In the days, weeks, and months to come, I will begin to unpack the mess of thoughts in my head, hopefully in some semblance of form.

I am really excited at all that is going on in life, and what is to come.

Mostly... I just need a space to write. As I indicated in the description - this time around, I'm simply going to make this my online journal.

If no one else ever reads it, that's ok.

If you've stumbled here by accident, welcome to my mind, my heart, and my life. I hope you are encouraged, and even challenged by what you read - to live a better life, be a better human - more loving, more gracious, more compassionate, more full of joy, and willing to work hard and do what isn't easy to make this place better for everyone. I've come to the conclusion I can't do that on my own, I need God to help me.

And it's ok if you don't share those beliefs. Some of my best friends do not share my beliefs - we can differ on that point, and many others, and still be friends.

Peace,
Ryan

PS - If you peruse some of my earlier writings, be warned - I was young and full of piss and vinegar. I thought I could change the world with a blog. I thought my writing actually mattered. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. That's not for me to decide. I just want to write.

Vacation.

I wanted to do a couple posts over the weekend - Oh well, hopefully I'll remember them when I get back.

I am officially on vacation and after today won't be around blogs, email, facebook or phone until I'm back in the office on the 22nd.

I outlined in a previous post what I am doing whilst gone. Just wanted to say bye!

If I do not return safely, then I will hopefully see you in eternity: Jesus loves you, died and was resurrected for you, and we will be resurrected one day too if we accept his grace - go read the Gospels.

But here's to hoping I come back safely! *grin* There is much work yet to be done! But I am so thankful for this time of rest!

So long, farewell, adieu. Love you all. 

Have a great couple weeks!

grace and peace,

ryan andré

AHHhhhhH!!!

Sorry for 2 posts today, I just love blogs and videos and guys who get it and needed to share some of it!

I don't always get it. This guys would be the first to admit he doesn't always get it either, but wow, check out this clip by Donald Miller, SPOT ON.



Will Jesus fulfill us here on earth? from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.


Preach it brother! haha

And here's the link to his blog post with more thoughts on the topic:
http://donmilleris.com/2010/01/27/will-jesus-fulfill-us-here-on-earth/

Ya. That goes with the stuff I posted earlier today very nicely. The real trick is application of course...

Oh happy day! Had a great couple hours of perusing the interwebs and catching up on some blogs. :)

grace and peace,
ryan andré

Thoughts by Winn Collier

Great reminders by author Winn Collier, I had to give you this right away. Hope you enjoy.

His thoughts are so clear and concise, I love it. I need to work on this.

God.

In time.

If God is real, why can’t we see Him? 

If God is with us, why isn’t He saying anything?

by: Winn Collier

SIMPLE QUESTIONS, so well tread that they run close to cliché. Still, the questions dog us. Many of us can’t shake them free. Near his death, the apostle Peter faced a similar stinging question. Jesus had said He was going to come back to earth in a blaze of glory to once and for all set this wreck of a world straight. However, several decades (at least) had passed since then, and ... nothing. Not a single break in the clouds. Not the slightest sighting of an angel army or a radiant Messiah warrior on a brilliant white steed. Not a whisper of hope.

Rome still ruled. Liberation seemed no closer than before. Violence and poverty and despair were very much with them, growing even. As rebellion and disillusionment slithered in, their accusation took shape. “Where is this ‘coming’ He promised?” Their sarcasm was heavy. “Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation” (2 Peter 3:4, TNIV).

Nothing had happened. Nothing was better. The world just kept rolling on ... without God. Some began to view hope in Jesus as pure poppycock.

If this question was sprouting decades after Jesus’ resurrection, it is downright colossal today, almost two millennia later. There has been a lot of evil between there and here, a lot of hoping, a lot of hopes left empty. Every human decade has seen its disaster and its genocide, its famine and its plague.

If God is here, what is He waiting for? It’s like Jan Eliason, a member of the U.N. envoy to Sudan, said in reference to the grim realities there: “Time is on nobody’s side.” In the world we see, evil appears to use the time quite nicely, but where is God?

Peter’s answer was salty. The problem wasn’t God’s delay. The problem wasn’t God’s silence or absence. God was always speaking; He had never stopped. His speaking brought the world into existence, and His speaking was now vigorously at work holding evil at bay until it would finally be cut off (2 Peter 3:5–7). If it weren’t for God’s active presence, there would be nothing left of us. Evil would have consumed us long ago.

Our problem, Peter said, is that we forget the story. We forget how God is always working goodness. We forget that God is rich in patience and mercy. We forget that God has spoken the beginning and will be speaking the end—and He is speaking and working every moment in between.

We also forget that time is an entirely human internment. “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day” (2 Peter 3:8). And God spends His days, His years bringing us salvation. Time might not be on our side, but God is.

He then has some of the most clear, concise thoughts on the nature of evil I have ever read (overly simplified, but clear):

Creative Destruction

by: Winn Collier

WE HAVE A NEW BEDTIME book at our house: 1,000 Things You Should Know About Animals. Giraffes and monkeys and cute little webbed-feet penguins—our sons enjoy them all. However, the boys prefer the frightening creatures. Crocodiles with powerful jaws. Vampire bats with eerie eyes. Copperheads. Tarantulas. The more poisonous, the more hideous, the better.

The pictures and the fascination with all things gory prompted Seth, our 3-year-old, to pose a troublesome question: “Why did God make scary stuff?” A conversation on the origin of evil ... with a preschooler.

Scripture provides some clarity. God did not intend or create evil. A mutinous angel rebelled, choosing humanity and the earth as the fulcrum of his insurgency. Forced into the fray, we routinely choose the mutiny, against God. We often invite evil.

The result, however, was that evil did not remain merely in the isolated sphere of individual choices (either of angels or humans). Like a dirty needle pumping heroin into the bloodstream, this rebellion straight-lined evil into the created order. Our planet is now riddled with the foul stench. Disease. Greed. Ruin. Can anyone truthfully look at the human race and the mess we’ve made of our planet and believe our problem is merely cosmetic?

Evil is certainly not all we see in our world. Grace and beauty and kindness abound. However, everywhere we look, we see evil’s imprint. Loneliness. Deception. Abandoned children. Shattered marriages. Hungry nations. How can our sickness be healed? How can evil’s dark stain be removed?

Strangely, the Apostle Peter offers hope via a blistering, apocalyptic picture. The heavens will vaporize with an ear-splitting roar. Falling to the earth, fire will scorch the sky. The earth’s raw chemical elements will liquefy like wax dripping from a candle. “God is going to destroy everything like this ...” says Peter (2 Peter 3:11).

But destruction is not the point. With God, destruction never holds center stage. God always moves toward redemption. The Holy Spirit will work to clear the brush, to remove all the malignant infection evil has cultivated. Destruction will offer a severe mercy. With power and fire and swift, final authority, God will reach into the bowels of the earth and wrench evil’s grip free, once and for all. 

This cataclysmic work is not a final destruction, the earth done and finished. Far from it. The destruction breeds new life. It will be a (do we even have language for such a thing?) creative destruction. From the devastation, God will create again, refashioning the earth once considered ruined into the kind of world He wanted in the beginning. We will enjoy the wonder of “a new heaven and a new earth” (2 Peter 3:13).

On this new earth, there will be no disease, no sorrow. No one hungry. No one lonely. The lion will lay down with the lamb. Not a single hint of “scary stuff."

I think I am going to go look for one of this guys' books.

His website is here: http://www.winncollier.com/

grace and peace,
ryan andré

Winding down...

This post is going to make a few of you jealous. I am sorry.

Well, things are winding down for me here.

I'm done preaching, Dan is back Sunday, youth/young adults are taken care of for the next couple weeks, I don't lead music again until into March, Haiti trip is underway .... Things are well set for me to take off on a couple weeks of vacation, and I'm already feeling pretty relaxed.

Usually, there would be lots of pressure to "get everything done before I leave and then get swamped when I get back", but that's not the case this time, and for that I am SO grateful.

I get to come back and the following Sunday we'll be having a baptism service and 3 young people are getting baptised, and I'm so excited for that! But most things are in place, so I have no worries of things to take care of when I come back.

God is really good.

My vacation plans are awesome - Lord willing.

The second week my family is all heading to Mazatlan, Mexico for a week. I haven't seen my family since summer, so I'm *really* excited to see them. I get along with my family really well and love them lots. I miss them. We've also only ever gone on one other *big* family vacation, to Florida in 2005. My dad's parents, and a couple uncle and aunts are also going to be there as they always spend a few months in Mazatlan every winter. So, it's going to be awesome and lots of fun.

The first week though I am planning on taking off on my own for a few days. I leave Monday, and the plan is to head out to .. it's a place with cabins that run all year round. Spend a few days just quiet, reading, go skiing for a day, maybe some hiking it's not too muddy (or maybe even if it is! lol). Then I fly out of Kelowna Friday morning to meet my family in Calgary.

The best part is that both weeks, I will not be available by phone or email! :) Free from all the communication that takes up so much of my day. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but it will be a very nice break. I am intentionally leaving the laptop behind, and the phone will only be around in case of emergency and connecting with my family. :)

I'll say a quick goodbye Sunday before I leave yet, I have a couple posts I *intend* to do before then, but don't hang me up if I don't get em done! lol.

As I told the youth last night, just because I am going on holidays doesn't mean I stop praying. I will be praying for many of you - especially those of you getting baptized!

grace and peace,
ryan andré

God is "here"

Source: nakedpastor.com (/archives/4571)

This totally made me laugh because it's so spot on. For 2 reasons. It also made me sad because I don't know how to fight it.

1. The conception that God is in a "specific place" at a "certain time". Cuz it's not like the Holy Spirit is in YOU, right? We love to flock to where things are "happening". Unfortunately, God is not often "there". He's right here, you just need to open your eyes and heart.

2. The tragedy and phenomenon that is called church-hopping. I just don't get it. While there are a couple of legitimate reasons to "shop-around" (if you are new to town; if you get married and are from different churches - I recommend going to the same church; if your church is too big and at the same time fails at the intimacy you need from both God and others - I don't think all large churches fail at this; if after a time you realize your pastor is not challenging you in your faith - which begs the question - are you letting him? But some pastors are just fluff and that is not what you need to grow in your faith; there is some major shift in doctrine that stops focusing on the redemptive work of Christ; ... there might be others, but those are just off the top of my head), but many reasons are so selfish, prideful, and speak to the lack of commitment in general that is in our culture today (If I don't like it, I leave it; I had a conflict with someone I am unwilling to work at resolving; The pastor is too convicting and it imposes on my life; I don't like the music; I've lost my personal connection to most people because I am unwilling to work at spending time with others, so I will go where others are reaching out to me, and I feel needed; I am sure there are other reasons .. and I'm not trying to trash talk anyone here, just pointing out a fact). 

Seriously. What ever happened to working at change within something that isn't working? If I see a problem that needs fixing at my work, I talk to my boss about it. I then work at fixing it. There is an inherent problem with the philosophy that is: Oh, here's a problem, I'm outta here. And in regards to church, you are walking out on your family. I really believe that.

I think this point in many ways has to do with my first point. We all too often fail to realize that God is here and now in my heart and life. When we fail to experience God, somehow we think church can solve that rather then getting on our knees before the Father. So we look for a new place that provides that. Yes, others do help you experience that when you are failing on your own, but the church building or programs do not. It's the people. And it might be people you do not yet know that well. It's about opening yourself up to the Father and to others - no matter who it is. For some reason we get this stigma that others within our own church will judge us. I won't lie, it has happened from time to time, but, it's not supposed to and possibly if it has you are looking in the wrong place.

I have several mentors within our own church, and I am a pastor. A few of them are my age - guys I have come to trust and respect. But one of my mentors is like 70 and a senior member of our church and I have totally been able to open up to him and share my weaknesses and he helps and prays for me. I'm not perfect, I need help like any of you. It's recognizing this and learning where and who to ask for help from. But if you don't ask, you will not receive. And you would be surprised from where it comes...

We give up so easily, we are so prideful and stubborn, we get discouraged too easy, and we just can't see things through. We just are totally unwilling to open up to others on a deep level for fear of getting hurt. .... It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all .. what? I don't think we really believe that anymore. If we don't for significant relationships, how can we ever on a friendship level?

Ok .. /rant off .. I just feel very strongly about this area of church.

Don't get me wrong. There are LOTS of great things going on around today's churches. It seems like in Kamloops God is really working. I just came from a meeting - several of us youth pastors from around town have been getting together regularly for months now to pray and plan stuff, and it is SO good. Our main concern is that people are getting plugged into churches and youth groups for the support that we all need from each other. It was really encouraging.

But we have to remember, it's about the people, not the place.

Let's get over "God is now here" and remember "God is here now".

grace and peace,
ryan andré

The Villagers of Stiltsville

Lest you think I am this creative, sorry, this is not mine. :)

This is a sweet and fun poem by Max Lucado from his book "Fearless" which I highly recommend.

(I did however type it all out because I couldn't find a copy online that was already typed. I also started editing the punctuation because it seemed really inconsistent, but then I realized I don't know anything about punctuation in poems - so ... sorry if I messed it all up.)

I will tell you at the bottom what it's about.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"The Villagers of Stiltsville", by Max Lucado

Perhaps you don't know,

then, maybe you do,

about Stiltsville, the village,

(so strange but so true)

where people like we,

some tiny, some tall,

with jobs and kids,

and clocks on the wall

keep an eye on the time,

for each evening at six,

they meet in the square

for the purpose of sticks,

tall stilts upon which

Stiltsvillagers can strut

and be lifted above

those down in the rut:

the less and the least,

the Tribe of Too Smalls,

the not cools and have-nots

who want to be tall

but can't, because

in the giving of sticks,

their name was not called,

the didn't get picked.

Yet still they come

when villagers gather;

they press to the front

to see if they matter

to the clique of the cool,

the court of the clout,

that decides who is special

and declares with a shout:

"You're classy!" "You're pretty!"

"You're clever!" or "Funny"

and bequeath a prize,

not of medals or money,

not a freshly baked pie

or a house someone built,

but the oddest of gifts -

a gift of some stilts.

Moving up is their mission,

going higher their aim.

"Elevate your position"

is the name of the game.

The higher-ups of Stiltsville

(you know if you've been there)

make the biggest to-do

of the sweetest thin air.

They relish the chance

on their high apparatus

to strut on their stilts,

the ultimate status.

For isn't life best

when viewed from the top?

Unless you stumble

and suddenly are not

so sure of your footing.

You tilt and then sway,

"Look out bel-o-o-o-w!"

and you fall straightaway

into the Too Smalls,

hoi polloi of the earth,

you land on your pride -

oh boy, how it hurts

then the chic police,

in the tilt of all jilts,

don't offer to help

but instead take your stilts.

"Who made you king?"

you start to complain

but then notice the hour

and forget your refrain.

It's almost six! 

No time for chatter!

It's back to the crowd,

to see if you matter.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I don't think I need to explain.

This comes out of his chapter on the fear of "not mattering" - letting what other people think of you hold you back from all that God has planned for you.

Interestingly, I thought about this poem last night from a different angle.

I was out at a little indy show in a coffee shop - Ari Neufeld and Scott Dunbar - last night (they were quite good when Scott wasn't trash talking politcians - I don't have a problem with musicians being political, but trash talk discredits yourself and isn't helpful, also swearing when there are young children present is just inconsiderate). Anyways, the music was great, and they were very talented. I enjoyed it FAR more then my rap post yesterday. ;) Now to get Josh Garrels to town....

Anyways ... So, I was thinking, it was a coffee shop, but a lot of the people there (mostly 20-somethings) were dancing and having a lot of fun. It was a quiet crowd because it was unplugged but you could just tell people were into it. Loving it. Enjoying every moment.

Yes, they were dancing/singing and not really caring what others thought, and I dare say they were even doing it without alcohol as best as I could tell (I think I smelled it on a couple people, but for the most part). I know Christians who sometimes think they are the only ones who can do this (without alc) like it's something to prove, and that's not all bad, but.... anyways ... Too many Christians that I know (myself often) are too rigid and don't know how to have fun without caring what others think - while still being respectful.

I learned from them last night.

It was a cool observation.

grace and peace,
ryan andré

Good Enough...

I suppose.

Not quite what I wanted, but it've wasted enough time...

What think ye?

rc

coding sucks.

Trying to revamp my blog, I wasn't happy with the look .. but html/css is ridiculous.

Thanks for google, and thanks for you being patient with me.

ryan andré

Friday Distraction

I suppose after this post I can never trash talk country music again...

Oh well, we all have our vices I suppose. ;)

This post will NOT be for most of you, and I cringe at the backlash I might receive. ;) I very nearly decided not to post it haha.

----

So, I was just allowing myself to be distracted on youtube watching some music videos and thought I'd share a few with you. Though I loathe gangster culture, I have a soft spot (in relatively small doses) for "gangster" rap.

Hip-hop's fun, but cheesy. R&B is bleh. Gangster rap is intense.

To most "gangsters" the very idea of Christian gangster rap doesn't work. They would discredit it purely because it's not "bad", which is after all what being a gangster is all about (apparently). However, I, like many Christians can't handle the content of most rap songs - though one thing I have always appreciated is that gangster rappers aren't afraid to be honest. More so then any other music I have found.

Well, there is a Christian rapper out there who stands above the rest to me. His name is LeCrae. If he were not a Christian, undoubtedly he would be very famous. He's ... awesome. But he is a Christian, and is not ashamed to rap about it. In fact, his latest and best album for quality is so packed full of Bible verses - you could play it for your sermon and walk off the stage. He also lives what he raps. Though he is doing music a lot more these days, he was ministering at a correctional institute prior to now volunteering at a juvenile detention center, all before his music.

He tours with a group of rappers called 116 clique. I saw them at Creation this summer, and it was really a great show! I loved it.

Other great Christian rappers: Trip-Lee, Da truth, Flame, KJ-52, and our very own Manafest.

If you even remotely like rap, check out these videos.

Just turn up the bass and bounce with the beat... *grin*

Don't Waste Your Life - Lecrae, Rebel


Take Me as I am - Lecrae, Real Talk
(amazing song, but warning, graphic scenes from The Passion)


The Rebel Intro - Lecrae, Rebel (title track)
(not a real music video, but with the words, kinda cool to follow)
(and yes - that is Mark Driscoll talking in the background, see, I'm not that biased ;)


And lastly, just cuz it's so darn fun:

"Live Free" Lecrae, Rebel


The whole Rebel album is really fun and solid the whole way through, lots of great songs.

Ok, I've tortured you enough. ;)

Truthfully - I'm already tired of rap today. :)

g&p,
ryan andré

The God of Comfort

This is a post from 6 months ago that I couldn't put up because we had to let word circulate properly first, and then I forgot to post it. I found it last night and I don't think I have otherwise mentioned it on my blog. We have a difficult situation going on in our church. You can read the situation below, it is largely the same. They are trying different things now, but the implications are still the same. There is a link at the end I have added to follow their story. For me, there have been several days like this since, though I have learned a lot since. I have added some new comments in red.

----------------

Today is one of those days that causes you to ask God "why"?

Why .. why .. why?

It's days like today that I despise being empathetic. The "man" in me wants to shut it out, to block it up, to be tough and not cry .. but my empathetic nature wins..

There is a couple in our church who has been through a lot. Both of their previous spouses passed away from cancer about 5 years ago. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it was for them both to walk through losing a spouse, and yet they found each other in the mourning process and they ended up getting married.

Well, over the last 2 weeks it has been discovered that her son Zach (from her previous marriage, an amazingly good natured young man, and going into grade 7) had a blood clot in his brain and it was confirmed this morning that it is a terminal brain tumor. They have given him 2 years to live (this still stands, and he is steadily declining). To make matters worse, Doug, the husband who lost his wife and is now married to Dana has also been diagnosed with cancer over the last 2 weeks, though the severity is not yet known (he is in treatment, but I am still unclear how severe it is for him).

And so we come to the question. For a family that has already been through so much, why are they going through it again? How is this fair? How is this even remotely fair?

As a pastor, obviously my first inclination is to pray. Pray pray pray. Cry out to God on their behalf. And I do. I cry out, but I also ask God why? What purpose is there in this? Is this a test? Is God really in control? Does He care about us?

And I know, though I question, that emphatically that the answer is yes. Yes, yes, yes.

You see, for all man's knowledge and wisdom, we know so little (1 Cor 1:18-31). We have control over so very little. Zach has been in the care of some of the best doctors in the world at BC Children's (and both here and in Kelowna regularly). The same doctors who with my friend's kid Josiah end up going "huh?" (who has since gone to be with Jesus - which I never blogged about, more on that later maybe). The same doctors who through all their wisdom and knowledge still can't cure cancer. Sure they might be able to one day, and then there will be something bigger and worse?

The answer lies in this fact: God wants us to trust him. Do we trust God? Do we trust that - and this is the key to the fact - Do we trust God that *HE* knows best and loves and cares for the party involved more then we do?

The Bible is abundantly clear that God loves us. That he wishes NONE to "die" (John 3:16 and many other passages).

As a Christ follower, I think sometimes I fail to remember that life is about more then life and death has been defeated. We have to occupy this sinful, broken world only for a short time before spending eternity perfectly with the King of Kings.

We have things so good here in North America. We have all that we need and all that we want too for the most part. We have the "good" life. The "dream". And sure, parts of it may be lacking, but for the most part, I can do whatever I want, when I want. I see it everywhere - tv, video games, motivational talks, business meetings, even church sometimes, etc - we can do whatever we want if we put our minds to it.

Yet, we can't save a life. We can't do miracles (not us directly). We can't *make* food grow out of the ground. We can't make anything happen that really matters.

Jesus can though, and did, and continues to do so.

Jesus however does so with the profound knowledge that there is more to life, then life. He is the God who says, there is much pain while you are on earth because you fell to sin, but I love you, and there is hope of a future and plans for you to live forever with me in Eternity (Jer 29:11).

It is that hope that Jesus came to offer the world. In my greek class at Bible School, one of the most profound things I learned is that "the Kingdom of Heaven" is often misconstrued by our culture and mediocre english translations. A more descriptive translation would be "Kingdom of God's Reign" because the reality is this: Where does God reign? He reigns not only in Heaven, but in the here and now.

God is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living (Mark 12:27, Luke 20:38). What matters is this: That in both life AND after "death", God desires to be a part of our lives, to love us, and for us to love him. And to trust him. And He sees resurrection (eternal life with him in a perfect place) as a good thing.

Jesus also says "Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted". They WILL BE COMFORTED. You see, Jesus understood there was more to life, then life. He understood the pain we go through. In John 11:35 you can even read these words: "Jesus wept" when his friend Lazarus passed away.

Mourning is natural, it is good, there is promise and hope in mourning. It shows we care, it shows we love, it shows we trust. I think that more often then not, this holds true even in the midst of anger, confusion and questioning. Dialoguing with God about your pain is a good thing as long as you don't let the anger take control and let it turn to bitterness. Bitterness is just a form of selfishness and a way of saying you don't trust God. (Through Josiah's death, this was put to the test in my life, and it is true. Continue to pray for Andrew and Marie who are still very much living this.)

You see, when faced with life's difficult circumstances, we are left with 2 options: To try and shut it out, to glaze it over, bury it and push it under - to be tough. Or we can mourn. We can fast and pray and weep and question. I think in the latter we are not shaking our fists at God in denial but admitting how little control we have, how little we know, and how much we need God.

And in that need, in that lack of control, we begin to have hope. We begin to have faith. We begin to realize that there is more to life, then life. We begin to truly trust.

And we do trust. Even *if* God takes Zach or Doug home we trust that God knows best, that God is in control. Even despite loss we can understand that God has bigger and better plans then we can hope or imagine. In the case of both Doug and Zach, I know that if they lose this life, at least they will gain a far better one truly, and at least they will be spared more agony and loss in this life.

Do you begin to see? Eternal life is a life free of sin and pain. There are no tears, or fears or pain. This is not a morbid thought. This is not me wishing to die. I love the life God has given me here on earth despite the pain. I love my family and friends and will live life to the full, and I have so much joy in the midst of it all. But I do know there is so much more and better waiting for me in resurrection, living eternally with God Almighty!

Yes, I mourn. I cry out. I pray. I weep. This is not easy. This makes me go why, and cry out that I don't understand. But I do understand in whom I trust, and I have hope. God will either heal them or take them to a much better place. And if there is only one thing I am truly certain of in life, it is that we all die at some point or another and that God is in charge of when and how that happens.

He loves you. He died for you. He defeated sin and death and rose for you. He promises we will rise into eternal life with Him, that life is not over upon death. He wants you to trust and know him.

In pain, in life, in suffering, and even in joy we can turn one of two directions: We can turn to the kingdom of comfort and work harder or play harder and distract ourselves from the pains of life, or we can turn headon into the pain and turn to the God of comfort, who loves us and wants us to pour out our hearts to him, to be included. To weep with Him. To trust Him. To let him love us.

I choose to turn to the God of Comfort, whom I turn to again and again.

I pray for healing that God may be given the glory. But I know that God will be given the glory whatever happens because He is in control and did create everything and everyone, and he cares for Zach and Doug infinitely more then me, or even Dana and the rest of their family. And that is not a copout, but it is the truth.

In Him all things have life only because He allows it (Acts 17:28). I believe this with my whole heart.

So, join me in mourning with them. Pray for them (that God WOULD heal - that Zach can enjoy a long and joyful life! That Doug can watch his family grow up!)! Fast for them! Serve them and love them!

It is sad. It makes me upset. It makes me question.

But still do I trust.

In the one, the only, the God of Comfort,

ryan andré

** You can follow Zach's own blog through caringhands (Dana - Zach's mom - often writes her own thoughts and updates on Zach here as well):
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/zachlaird


I leave you with the lyrics to the song "When the tears fall" by Tim Hughes. It is a beautiful song and makes me cry when I hear it, especially on days like today. You can hear/watch it at the link below.



-- When the Tears Fall --

I've had questions without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing that I cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true

When hope is lost
I call You Saviour
When pain surrounds
I call You Healer
When silence falls
You'll be the song within my heart

In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me, You sustain me
My defender for ever more

When hope is lost
I call You Saviour
When pain surrounds
I call You Healer
When silence falls
You'll be the song within my heart

And I will praise You
I will Praise You
When the tears fall
Still I will sing to You
I will praise You
Jesus praise You
Through the suffering
Still I will sing to You

When hope is lost
I call You Saviour
When pain surrounds
I call You Healer
When silence falls
You'll be the song within my heart

I will praise You
I will praise You
When the tears fall
Still I will sing to you
I will praise You
Jesus I will praise You
Through the suffering
Still I will sing to you

When the laughter fails to comfort
When my heart aches, Lord You'll be there
When confusion is all around me
And the darkness is my closest friend
Still I'll praise You
Jesus praise You

It is now clear to me...

How much that last post sounds like I am desperately trying to convince myself that I don't need to be as independent as I am.

And I know a few of you are particularly thinking about how it might apply to me and marriage.

All I have to say is: "Get behind me Satan!"

bahaha, just kidding!

Seriously though, on some level that might be right (not the "get behind me part"...). For all the cynics who might be wondering: marriage doesn't scare me. I hope it will happen one day. I am looking forward it to happening. I will pursue and take the steps necessary when I think it is right. But I refuse to jump into something just for the sake of the 'something'. I also refuse to overly romanticize it (though it will be, because I am). I will pursue when it's right. I can be honest in saying that until the last few years, I haven't really cared too much, and now that I am open to the idea a lot more, doing what I do, well it's certainly a lot trickier to meet people. So the best thing YOU can do for me, is pray. :)

Anyways... that's more then I should probably post on my blog, but I get asked about it ALL the time. Just chill people. *grin*

In all honesty, the reason for the post was because I was thinking about food and about how much more difficult it would be to take care of myself as far as eating goes without all the modern conveniences we do have. That was it. I just made it much more then it was.

It will happen. Be patient. I am. (ya ya, too patient some of you think .. deal with it! .. in the meantime, I have work to do)

I love you all. :) I know you bug/ask because you care. I relish that. Even though I hate relish. ;) Double meaning intended.

g&p,
ryan andré

An important reminder:

I am currently reading one of the best books I have read in a very long time. By "best" I mean affirming and yet challenging. There are aspects of it I am not yet sure if I agree with. It's called "Surprised by Hope" on "Rethinking Heaven, Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church" by N.T. Wright - a foremost New Testament scholar.

On Monday night, I also attended the World Religions Conference the other night at TRU.

Because of the two aforementioned facts, I just want to take a moment to remind you that the thing that sets apart Christianity from ALL other religions is simply one word, and no, it's not even Jesus (though He is central to the word). It's: "Resurrection".

Resurrection is the reason Christ is who he said he was.
  (he claimed numerous times to be equal/one with God)
Resurrection is the reason we are forgiven by grace
Resurrection is the reason we can *know* we are right with God.
Resurrection is the reason sin and death itself are defeated.
Resurrection is the reason we will rise again in perfected bodily form at the end of this present world.
Resurrection is the reason we love as Christ loved and sacrifice as he sacrificed.

Resurrection sets our faith apart. There is nothing else. It is on that ground that Christianity is made or broke. If Christ did not rise, we have nothing and our faith just becomes another system, just another religion.

Side note: One part of that word often brings confusion: that we will one day rise in perfected bodily form after dying where the new earth and heaven will be as God intended it to be in the first place. This was the hope upon which the apostles bled and died - the promise: Because of Christ, Sin and death itself are defeated - we will rise.

In case we've forgotten, this is about "eternal life", both here and now, and forevermore. This isn't about "eternal disembodiment in some other realm we know nothing about that involves floating, robes and harps". This is about life (both now and forever) and knowing. Christ has revealed to us what lies in store after we die. Sure, it's foggy because it hasn't happened yet, but, there are things we can know! We will rise again, physically - in perfect new bodies. What that means is that "Heaven" is going to rock! It will be physical and tangible. All the best and good things of this world, coupled with things so awesome we can't even imagine them! The world itself will be totally recreated, but in a much bigger, better and most perfect way.


Tangent on the book "Surprised by Hope", on Resurrection:
N.T. Wright's book has been very re-affirming. He outlines how preposterous the idea resurrection was for the disciples to put forward. The idea of resurrection simply did not exist within any pagan religion of the day. Many Jewish people did believe in general resurrection one day at the end of time, but the idea that it could occur within time was ludicrous and the evidence shows that the disciples simply had no idea what was going on, which is a great indicator that it was authentic. The gospel accounts are devoid of any hint that they had any initial clue what was going on until Christ revealed himself to them.

Basically, there is such a radical shift in the account of Christ after his death that it is nearly impossible to come to the conclusion that they were making this up. The evidence is compelling. The theology of "resurrection" was not even formally developed until long after the Gospels were written, though all 4 Gospel accounts clearly talk about a risen Jesus (Wright would say "in the worst possible way" - they didn't use OT scriptures in talking about resurrection, they let the account of the women - Mary and Martha - stand though no male would have accepted that, the stories of Jesus weren't at all like the Jewish idea of resurrection involving "shining and glittering" mentioned in the book of Daniel, there is no consistency to the physical/spiritual body of Jesus - they could touch him, but he could walk through doors, they wouldn't have been able to invent that idea - .. the list goes on)

Not wanting to draw out this post any further then I need to, the book is very thick and he clearly outlines and debunks all of the myths surrounding resurrection and all the possible arguments against. I haven't been able to put the book down (which is bad because I need to be reading other things this week).

1 Corinthians 15 is the central text on Resurrection, and the rest of the New Testament clearly speaks that the Christian hope is that Christ rose and that we will too.

Further, and to be clear, I'm not sure where I come out on this, but it makes sense the way he puts it (and I am not yet done the book, I believe he covers this more). Christians often say that death is a passing into the next life. Our bodies die, and our spirits go to Heaven to live forever, death is simply the beginning of a great adventure in Heaven with God. Wright would somewhat disagree. He wants to be clear that the Christian hope is not that death is the end of life and some spiritual part of us goes on living forever, but rather that death itself is defeated, that we *will* rise again to live as we were intended to in the Garden of Eden, perfect but with physical life. Our very DNA will be re-written in a perfected state and our decaying matter will no longer decay. He does seem to believe in a form of "soul sleep" or paradise or "waiting under the throne". He does believe that people who are dead now who were Christ followers are with Christ in a place of waiting, but that the ultimate climax of that scenario is resurrection: "when the dead in Christ will rise, and then those who are still alive will be caught up and transformed" (1 Thess 4:16-17, 1 Cor 15:52). He does however lay a very convincing framework for these ideas Biblically, and it's hard to argue. It's why the new testament so often uses the words "fallen asleep" to describe death. C.S. Lewis doesn't much talk about what happens to us until then that I have ever read, but the reason I bring him up is because the outcome, though the implications are the same, is achieved differently. We will have new, perfect, physical, tangible bodies in a new, perfect, physical, tangible world, but in Lewis' thoughts, this is accomplished in "a new place", almost a new universe, whereas Wright sees this re-creation happening right here within this one. Same incredible implications though. This is of course some of the fog.

I am not done the book yet, so I have yet to know where he is headed with all this, but, it is a stellar and challenging read. It's not light, so I don't recommend it to everyone. His ideas have not been standard in the church for a couple hundred years, though they certainly were in the early church...

Of course he is clear in all his outlining of the proof that ultimately, it does still come back to faith. Whether or not you can accept the eye-witness accounts or not, but by all means of evaluation, they seem more valid then most everything else we have in the history of the world.

Further reading on the proofs of Christ's resurrection: Josh McDowell's "More then a Carpenter", Ravi Zaccharias' "Jesus among other Gods", Lee Strobel's "Case for Christ" - all are easy reads compared to the above mentioned book and approach it from different angles: historical law, journalistic review, and apologetics.


Anyways, back to the point.

Jesus says if we hate, we have sinned. If we lust with our eyes, we have sinned. Pride was our fall in the garden, and anytime we put ourselves first, this is pride.

Jesus sets the bar high because God *is* Holy. God can not be around sin. Sin demands death (Rom 3-6, all of the Old Testament).

If Christ was not resurrected, our only hope then is to become Jewish and perfectly keep the sacrificial system and the Torah. That is the only way to a holy God without Christ.

Side note: Even though without Christ the Amidayyah form of Islam (considered a cult by mainstream Islam) sounds pretty appealing (as long as I'm sincerely sorry for wronging someone at least once in my life, God will let me in? Cool. But if I wasn't, look out, hell awaits), both Judaism and further, Christianity, have always been about how you can *know* your standing with the Creator. God made a way through a complex sacrifice system for you to know how you can be right with Him. God completed that system with Christ on the cross, and defeated the very consequence of sin: death.

"Where, oh death is your victory? Where, oh death is your sting?" (1 Cor 15:55)

The only way that we can *know* that we will spend eternity with God is through believing, professing, and living that Christ is risen.

Ya, there's tons that goes with that, repentance, baptism, etc (Acts 2:38) ... But resurrection is the core. Because of  resurrection I can be *certain* where I stand with God, and this gives me freedom rather then worry to try and be more like Christ. To be sure, the best thing about Christianity is also the worst. The knowledge that I can be certain sometimes causes me to stop trying. James addresses this in the book of James. It's a difficult balance.

...

I know that all this sounds narrow. I am not so brash as to say that God may not have mercy on others, it's ultimately up to him and I do believe he is loving and merciful. But the Bible itself says you *only* get eternal life by faith in Christ (John 14:6, John 3:16, Gal 2:16, etc), so really, why take the chance? If you have heard this message, that Jesus says this is how you can *know* ... then you have no excuse. Others might who haven't heard, I don't know. But you no longer have an excuse. Think about it. This is a great assurance given from God himself! That you can *know*.

I tend to think that the real reason people reject this is not because it seems exclusive, but rather because it is inclusive, it's too easy - I want to earn my way to God, or rather, I want to do it and live my life my own way.. It was the fall of Adam and Eve, and it continues to be our downfall. Pride.

...

Despite our sin, we can know that because Christ was resurrected, we will be too.

This is of course a much larger discussion. This is the simplicity and the complexity of the Gospel.

Jesus loves you. He died and rose for you. Can you accept that?

Resurrection proves and sets Christianity apart.

One of life's great farce's?

I'm preaching this Sunday and I'm speaking about "Faith That Does not Fear". I'm excited for it, it's coming together (and I should be working on it now, but ... lol). It has been immensely challenging to me.

Well, I've been thinking about fear. My fears very specifically.

I've realized that one of the things that I fear is people. Not being around them - that I love! But, to list some of the things that I fear about people:

• I fear the misunderstandings and conflicts that come with significant relationships.
• (I won't bother listing all the fears that are a subsection under that one, but they are many)
• I fear the accountability that comes from close friends.
• I fear relying on people to get anything done.
• I fear what others think of me on some level.
• (I do not fear them judging me by my words or actions usually, but this is more ... vanity)
• I fear misleading or wasting people's time.
• (A good discretion to be responsible, but the fear can overwhelm to effort sometimes)
• I fear others seeing my weaknesses and sin.
• I fear meeting new people, the awkwardness of initial contact.

I'm sure a few of you can relate.

Fast forward to today. I was thinking about health. More specifically, about the food I eat. (I was reading some articles that piqued my interest that I saw on msnbc news headlines - eating healthier is something I am trying to learn, my fantastic metabolism is finally slowing down...).

I began to think about what life would be like without fast food, instant meals, candy/junk food, and further; supermarkets importing food from California, Idaho and China; microwaves, electric kettles, rice makers ....

I began to think that I might die if none of those modern conveniences weren't around. Don't get me wrong, I actually do cook a lot, but there can be days at a time when I simply don't have time ... Or at least the modern conveniences mentioned above allow me to not have time.

My next thought surprised me:

I wouldn't be able to do it alone.

It would force me to have to rely on people on a more regular basis. Why? Because we NEED to eat to survive, and with a huge incline in the amount of time it would take simply to eat, I would need other people's help in order to still accomplish what I usually accomplish. Simply the need to eat would drive me to work better with my roomates to coordinate meals, invite and be invited over to other people's houses for meals, etc...

This brought me back to my fear of people.

A servant would be the easiest solution in the aforementioned food problem (haha).

But ... thinking back to creation, God saw Adam working in the garden and it was good .. but .. he saw that it was not good for man to be alone. So He created a helper for him (before you go getting all worked up about the word helper, go do the research on the word .. it was a good thing. It wasn't a slave or servant or anything less then equivalent. Think about it more like this: The man and woman could help each other.)

Essentially, God knew it wasn't healthy for us to be alone.

I'm not specifically talking about marriage (though, look up at my list of fears and numero uno - though the idea of marriage doesn't actually scare me, the relationship itself does ... if that makes any sense..), but I am actually more talking about our need for each other. Significant friendships on a daily basis, mentor's, people who serve and love each other..

So .... What do I propose is one of life's great farce's?

Independence.

Our culture pushes it every which way you turn.

• Support yourself financially
• Have your own car
• Have your own place
• Have your own "stuff"(books, kitchen stuff, couches)
• Have your own entertainment (tv, xbox, computer, etc)
• Have a career that pays well so you can do the above
• Incur lots of debt so you can accomplish the above

The list could go on I'm sure. I hope you get the point.

I am one of the more independent people I know. In high school I was rarely home - I was usually out and about with friends or working 2 jobs through grade 11 & 12 to afford the things I like to do. Spent the summers away from home at camp. Went to Spain for a year on my own. I was home for a year working after high school and I've been on my own since (for the most part, I moved home a couple times between things and Bible school doesn't count). For the majority of the time I have been away from home I have had my own place, lived on my own, or been in charge of the house.

I haven't always been great at it, my parents have helped me out TONS, but .. I hate being dependant on my parents and others.

But .. I am asking myself, is it really so bad to be dependant?

God apparently didn't think so when He made Eve. And that was before the fall when things were undoubtedly much easier.

Maybe a better term is "mutually dependant" ..  so as never to excuse for lazy-ness. Some kids definitely need to get out of their parents basements. ;) But overall, more dependance on each other would sure would cut down on "busy-ness" and would improve friendships, plus a great many other things I am sure.

Our culture has made it SO easy to do it on your own. I say it again, it is EASIER to do it on your own.

But maybe it is not better.

Why are divorce rates are SO high? Why is there more depression then ever before? Why is morality in such decline? Why is there such a lack of joy and hope?

Sadly, the stats of these questions show the percentages are as high among Christians.

I propose that possibly it might be because we are all too independent. Because we lack the skills to truly share life with one another.

Of this I am guilty as well.

It's amazing that thinking about food could cause me to be thinking this way, haha.

Some people hate doing it on their own, they probably have it right .. I tend to love it. I am decisive and know exactly what I want and how I want to do it usually. But maybe that's not best... On some level, I'm sure that's just a form of pride.

One of the interesting things about this conversation is maybe one of the probably outcomes of becoming more dependent on others. In the process, it is likely that we will become more dependent on God. When we realize how weak we are on our own, we stop trying to do it all on our own.

We let others ... we let God ... help.

Independence is one of life's great farce's...

Just a thought .. maybe I'm totally off base?

grace and peace,

ryan andré

ps. Of course, as I have mentioned there is the total flip other side - complete dependence to the point of being a burden. A fear of being able to do anything or stepping out on your own. This is not what I suffer from, so I can not really comment on that based on my own experience and is probably a topic for another time.

2 questions to parents!

Please help by answering the following questions as honestly as possible.

If you don't want to be known, please help by logging out and responding anonymously.

This is not for the sake of guilt, nor do I want to cause undue panic if you have never thought about it (though if you know me, chances are that you have), but purely for information. This has less to do with what you might assume it does (though that of course has to do with the first question) and more to do with social networking sites, etc, and comes from a recent discussion I have been seriously contemplating from another blog (though I have been thinking about this stuff for years) . I will link those discussions at another time. For now, please focus on these questions.

1. Do you monitor or regularly (not out of punishment) limit your kids internet usage (either in time and/or content) and/or do you have some sort of filter installed on the computers in your house with which to hold them accountable?

2. Have you ever discussed with your children what it means to communicate with others on the internet and how to safeguard themselves from things that could harm them (ie: protecting your identity, not giving information too quickly - if at all, the difference between in-person and online communication, how to search effectively, etc)?

This is not intended to spark any debate at the moment, but purely to collect information.

If some of you well connected bloggers who know lots of parents could help this process through backlinks or something, I would be grateful. I am more interested in rural Canada then anywhere else (as that is where I minister) which no "study" can touch.

grace and peace,

ryan andré

Genesis

So, as I'm reading through the Bible this year, I'm going to try and *briefly* post my thoughts on each book as I finish it.

I finished Genesis the other day (yea, this post should have come a few days ago, but I've been blogging too much and wanted to give a bit of a break) and it's a book I love. It has so many very interesting stories in it. It's quick paced, and fun.

I had to preach on Noah in December, and one of my points had to do with the following, and it's carried over into this month and this reading of Genesis. It's taught me so much.

I present to you, the "righteous" men of Genesis:

Adam: blamed Eve, twisted the truth (Gen 3)
Noah: gets off the ark, grows a vineyard and gets drunk (Gen 9:20-)
Abraham: seriously lied to protect himself putting his wife's life (and sexual sanctity) in jeopardy, not once but twice (Gen 12:10-20, 20); becomes impatient with God's promise and sleeps with his wife's servant (Gen 16)
Isaac: also lied about his wife to Abimilech causing a massive conflict (Gen 26:7-11); possibly that he favoured Esau over Jacob (it caused a lot of grief)
Jacob: stole his brother's birthrights; lied to his father and God to get Esau's blessing; he didn't love his wife Leah; slept with both his wife's concubine's upon their request aiding their feud
Joseph: to me he seems to struggle with power/pride - his dreams as a boy, a lot of what he does in Egypt to his brothers doesn't really make sense otherwise (unless it was truly to bring them to repentance) - not necessarily sins, but just observation; one thing that would be a sin if he did indeed use it for it's intended use is Joseph's "cup of divination" (Gen 44:5) It would have been an idol and witchcraft.

I'm positive that those weren't the only sins they committed in their lives, just the ones that are listed. Yet these are the men of "great faith" - declared righteous before God, listed in the faith "Hall of Fame" (Hebrews 11).

It seems a bit surreal to me that these men had some character flaws and that the Bible is so transparent about them, while we go on trying so hard to look perfect.

These are the men upon whom God built a nation, by whom he fulfilled prophecy and kept a righteous genealogy until Christ could be born, and through whom He humbly became flesh and dwelt among us. That because of these men, Christ was able to die and rise that He might give life to *all* men. These were God's "best" of that era.

It should be said at this point that what did set these men apart was their willingness to surrender, to repent, to ask forgiveness, to be humble and used by God. To give Him the Glory for all things.

It amazes me how much God is a God of grace, compassion and mercy - even in the Old Testament.

It astounds me that God could use men like these to carry out his great plans.

None of these men were near perfect.

It gives me hope that God can in fact use me.

grace and peace,
ryan andré

The destruction of Port-au-Prince

This is just a snippet from the Rolling's blog that I thought really captures what happened well (from an entry a few days old already):

http://rollingsinhaiti.wordpress.com/

"It’s hard to describe the level of destruction that has been caused here and what it will mean long term. Port au Prince is flattened. There are no government offices. Policing is going to be difficult. Banks in our area are non-functioning because they are all based out of Port au Prince. EVERYTHING is in Port. This is not a case of having one center down and others in other cities that can take over the overflow. Everything was in Port. The entire country is slowly grinding to a halt. It is going to take months to clean up the city. The initial wave will be continuing with rescue efforts, and then starting to remove the rubble. But then all the broken buildings will need to be leveled before businesses can rebuild and it’s anyones guess how many will actually rebuild. We don’t know what services will be available again. A friend of mine who has visited Haiti said that the best way he could think of to talk about the depth of the issue was to say that it’s like every major city in the US or Canada being flattened at the same time. Those centers that run the country would no longer be able to run the country. Think of what that would mean for you. You cannot renew insurance on your vehicle. You cannot get a birth certificate. You cannot get any documentation of any kind. There is no one to run the country. That’s just the way it is."

Keep on praying, keep on giving...


grace and peace,
ryan andré

3 Great Albums!

Ha! My intention was just to give a couple suggestions of some music I am really enjoying lately, but I got going on some other stuff, which I have called:

Pre-amble:

I *love* music. I love listening, playing and singing along. As I drive, as I type, as I live, music is an integral part. My favourite music genre is quickly becoming (at least for now) "contemporary worship" .. to give it a label .. It's bad. It too often lacks creativity and depth, I know. There is a ton of music out there that is superior in quality and even at times lyrical depth. I still listen to a lot of it. Music is personal, I get that .. But there is just something about some of this contemporary worship genre that has caught me lately. Much like scripture, it sustains and feeds me spiritually (though I will not deny I have experienced this through solid lyrical content coming from other Christian and even non-Christian sources at times, this is more ... consistent). It's true. The other day I was tempted by something, but I had a Matt Maher song stuck in my head (Christ is Risen) and ... I was like, no. I'm not going to give in. It was a subtle, but welcome reminder.

As for calling this genre "worship" ... I originally posted the title as "worship" with quotation marks, and as a result I very nearly decided to rant about calling the music we sing Sunday mornings as "worship" because as we all should know by now, singing a few songs Sunday AM has very little to do with how we live our lives which is our true act of worship (Rom 12) ...

But it's all just verbiage. Some music (namely, the music we sing Sunday mornings) is designed specifically for worshipping or praising God directly, and so to call it "worship" is not entirely incorrect ... There is no better word I know of because that's what I want to do as I sing to Him (most of the time..).

**I guess the major distinction I wish to make is that it's totally possible to make an album as an act of worship to God and I believe that many artists who are Christians do, and many of those songs can cause me to worship if that is my mindset, but it would not be what I would *call* a "worship" album (what I would mean as an album that directly and blatantly ascribes praise to God and draws my attention directly to him). I hate that the same word is used, but until we figure out a new way to differentiate, that will have to do. In my mind, it's nearly the difference between reading a book that causes me to remember a truth about God and reading the Bible (haha, it's a bad analogy because the Bible is absolute, but hopefully you get what I mean - one is about God directly, the rest can be about anything really...).

The Albums:

But the point of this post is this: Lately, the 3 discs I spin (wow that sounds so outdated since it's now usually coming through my ipod or itunes unless I am in my car, where I do actually own and have all 3 cd's!) more often then any other are contemporary worship albums, they are top notch quality, and they are these:

(I have provided links for the first two to "grooveshark" so you can actually give them a real listen. Click the link and then click "Add All" and play. Grooveshark is basically an online radio station where you get to pick what you listen to. Search for the artist/album, click the playlists tab and pick one. I've done some research and from what I can tell, it's not an illegal site, there is no downloading. I couldn't find an online playlist for Friday's Cry whole album, so I've just linked their myspace)

David Crowder - Church Music

WOW is all I have to say! This album is not going to be everyone's cup of tea as there is lots of electronic sampling and tracked layers. Musically and lyrically though, it is ... genius. There is no other word. From the rhythmic "Shadows" to the desperate cry of "How He Loves" to the rock opera that is "God Almighty, None Compares" .. I can listen to this album front to back on repeat over and over. I haven't gotten sick of it yet and it's been weeks! I highly recommend it! Though there are few songs you could pull off *well* in church without a tight band and lots of effects (as usual per Crowder) there are a few that I would love to try one day.

Matt Maher - Alive Again

I've been a big fan of Matt's since I first saw him play at the Canadian Youth Workers Conference in December of 07. I went and bought his first CD (Empty and Beautiful) right away. His voice is crystal clear and powerful. This album is a big step up from that one (though it lacks a standout like "Your grace is enough"). It's far more refined and flows front to back like few albums can (admittedly, the first album had some problems in a few of the songs with flow from verses to chorus). Matt's lyrics blow me away all the time. There is a depth and tradition behind his lyrics that I just love. Being a born again Catholic and still ministering in the Catholic tradition, he has an understanding of scripture that few have (I'll explain that one another time maybe). Particularly the back half of this album moves me in a way that few albums ever have. "Sing over your children" is truth and is a message we all need to be reminded of. I could talk about this album for hours. Go listen to it.

Friday's Cry - Love is a Fire

I am hesitant to list this nearly unknown album for a couple reasons. Number one being that it's somewhat trendy to list unknowns and indy, underground stuff. Number two being that there are SO many other incredible bands/albums that I could list in this genre (Starfield, Lincoln Brewster, Downhere) ... This album stands out to me above and beyond though. It's energy, flow, and lyrical content astound me. These guys love Jesus. It's blatant. Listen to the words and passion. And yet at the same time, it's non-conventional. Few are songs you could do "in church" ... but, all are songs you can sing at the top of your lungs to God Almighty and mean every word. "Your strength" has gotten me through many a day as a pastor, followed by "A God who is able" ... it's clear who we are to rely on. "More then silver" I can't sing very honestly, but it is a high ideal - I don't always love God more then gold and silver.... This album challenges, convicts, encourages and moves me. Listen to their myspace in this order: Coming Home Soon; Your Strength; God who is Able; More then Silver and Gold - that's the order of the album, and it flows well.

Misc...

When I need something quiet and contemplative but "worshippy" (lol), I usually turn to Jeff Johnson ("Vespers" is my fav). If I had to describe it with a genre, I would probably have to use "new age" or "acoustic/celtic" ... but he is most definitely a Christian, and much of his music is basically scripture or liturgy. It's mostly string/wind instruments, kinda celtic at times. It's quite nice when you need something mellow. Side note: there is another Christian Jeff Johnson, he has a fairly normal contemporary album called "glorious day" .. this is not that guy ... The Jeff I am talking about very rarely does anything on his own, so tracking his stuff down is tough. His main site is: http://www.arkmusic.com/

Some Hat Tips to non-conventional music that fit in the "worship" category:

Josh Garrels (folk/pop)

- haven't heard his new album yet, this guy is nothing short of amazing!

Mat Kearney (pop)

- both albums are solid

... those are some albums. If I get into individual songs, there are probably thousands (both "christian" and non alike), so I'll leave it at that.

I'm sure Andrew can add a few. ;)

Speaking of which, Andrew, it's been far too long since we've had a good music discussion my friend. I miss it (and more importantly, you, hope all is well man!). Andy is the king of indy, underground Christian music. :)

Phew .. that was a MUCH longer post then I intended to make... Sorry if I bored you. :) I don't know the meaning of a short post...

grace and peace,

ryan andré

PS - I have too much music, this wasn't easy to do .. If I played my itunes front to back never repeating a song, it would take 50.6 days to play! lol

Bottled Water

This caught my attention because lately I've been getting bottled water more often. Apparently Tap water is not only a much higher standard, but also much cheaper.

http://www.onlineeducation.net/bottled_water/

As a side thought, my parents started buying bottled water for them and my sisters as a way to actually start drinking more water as opposed to pop. You go to the fridge to grab a drink and there are bottles of water there alongside a pop, and your body tells you "water is better for you and you are dehydrated" and the bottle of water is screaming "pick me!" .. so you do, and bacteria etc aside, it is probably the better choice then pop (just guessing, lol). Just as a point of training. At some point you can then graduate to tap water. Actually, those fridges with the built in water dispensers have also helped my family switch to water a lot I've noticed when I am there.

Personally, I've never been a big pop drinker (and lately even less so) and have always liked a good glass of tap water. But I probably have had more bottled water recently then I'd care to admit. And Kamloops supposedly has the best tap water in North America.

Thanks Andy from YMIP.

grace and peace,

ryan andré

Haiti

This is an exceptionally long blog post. I realize everyone who owns a blog has probably mentioned something about Haiti. This is more for me, a collection of my thoughts, and if any of you are looking for anything in particular on the subject and find it here, great! Blessings as you read.

----

UPDATE: Read this post for a quick snapshot of the destruction.

I have refrained from commenting about Haiti until now. I needed some time to collect my thoughts, hear news, and more importantly, spend time praying about it.

My heart breaks for the people. It's a beautiful country full of beautiful people.

I've been there. I took a team of young people there a year and a half ago. I've seen the poverty. The shoddy workmanship. I can absolutely picture the devastation without needing pictures.

True, we were a couple hours away from Port au Prince and the area we were in is fine, and the missionaries from our church that we were with are fine. But I've still been in PaP and I know many people who have been involved with work there directly.

Some practical things for you, and a few more of my own thoughts after the links..

Stories:

- If you can stomach it, you can read one of the missionaries stories who was there here:

Chris and Leslie Rollings Blog

(I have met Leslie when she worked at Vernon Alliance, this is Chris' heart breaking account)

- I have attached Rod and Debbie's email to the bottom of this post in case you want to read their account since the quake and are not on their email list.

Giving:

A blogger whom I have recently begun following has written about an EASY way to give a few bucks to the Salvation Army's relief efforts in Haiti. All it involves is your cell phone and 10 seconds of your time. There is also a comment link to Samaritan's Purse and World Vision, both whom have easy ways to donate online as well.

afterthoughts composer

(to the Salvation Army, charged to your cell phone, quick and easy!)

samaritanspurse.ca (need MC/Visa)

worldvision (need a credit card)

I am excited that so many people are doing what they can.

- One of the girls in our youth group is singing a song at a school talent show that is being put on specifically to raise money for Haiti.

- Our team of firefighters from Kamloops being led by Ken Baerg (from our church) and Ray Parker (the fire department's chaplain) are still planning on heading down there providing they can actually get there. They are supposed to leave on the 22nd. If you want to support them and their efforts, please contact me and I can get you into contact with them.

Prayer:

Much prayer is needed. Things to pray for are that people who have lost loved ones both Haitian and foreign (there were Canadians and Americans killed in collapsed buildings) will experience the peace of Christ. That all the relief workers and people searching for loved ones will both have the strength they need to do the work and find the missing loved ones. That the billions of dollars worth of damage can begin to be tackled and functionality can return to the city. That the already extreme shortage of food in the country will be generously overflowing.. There is so much more...

...

My thoughts:

I have to admit, I *know* how hard it is to even remotely imagine God in all this. It's hard to understand a God of mercy and love and grace when we see this kind of chaos, and when we think that death is the be all end all of life. It's hard to understand that an all powerful God can understand tragedy and suffering - but He has ... He has experienced that same tragedy and suffering on the cross when his only son was killed, when God himself incarnate in Christ died on the cross .... for us. He weeps for us in tragedy (John 11:35). I don't want to undermine the sadness. It is sad. But understand, God weeps amidst chaos and destruction as well.

As a side note: What Pat Robertson actually meant in his heart by many of the things he said I can not know, but what I took from it, I strongly disagree with. Such blatant and highly publicized judgements about "the people" of Haiti, even with such compassion and humility as he seems to have ... That is not the God of the gospels who died on a cross for us. He is not sitting up there waiting to strike us down for making some stupid mistakes, especially ones that were made over 200 years ago (which is actually interesting because the alleged "pact with Satan" if you do the research ended in 1991). Jesus brought a new covenant, and Mr. Robertson does not speak on behalf of Christians. Thank you Donald Miller for pointing that out. You can read Miller's response to this tragedy here, it's very good:

Don Miller's Blog

To further clarify: Sure, the fallen world we live in where stuff like this happens as a result of sin, but it is not *directed* ... Romans 8:18-22: ... "the *whole earth* groans" ... There are more devoted Christ followers in pockets of Haiti then many other places, I have been to some of those places and felt far more oppression then when I was in Haiti (Morocco was one of them). Some people don't understand how these things work (nor do I claim to know it all, but). A satanic group performed some ritual/sacrifice on our school property while I was at Briercrest. I'm positive they gave the ground of our school to Satan .. Does that mean Briercrest should have some tragedy befall it? Victoria is the Satan capital of Canada .. when has some tragedy ever befallen it? .. Come on... you give Satan too much credit and are using faulty logic. It's fear mongering and simply not true. Further, what is the difference worshipping some idol or other "god" or Satan directly? It's all godlessness. It's all sin. It's all not God honouring.

God's physical action to wipe people out based on their actions is directly opposed to the Gospel of grace that Christ came to preach, live and die for. Judgement comes after death, not before, and is God's alone after man is given a chance at redemption through Christ. To be clear, please don't confuse that with *consequences* (some sin definitely has direct consequences, but it's God at that point saying "See, I told you so" rather then "Now I'm going to get you") or the fact that sometimes you are sinning in blatant disregard and He is trying to get your attention. Lastly, sometimes bad things happen just as a way to test us, the book of Job proves this, yes some things are just God giving us the opportunity to trust in Him... Go read the gospels and learn who Christ is and learn the difference between the old and new covenants.

Anyways, I digress .. I get fired up sometimes...

The words of a David Crowder song have been echoing through my head these last few days:

Life is full of light and shadow
O the joy and O the sorrow
O the sorrow

And yet will He bring
Dark to light
And yet will He bring
Day from night

When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We remember the cost
We rest in Him and in the
Shadow of the cross

It is to the promise of eternity with Him that I cling. It is to the promise of joy through suffering (James 1), the promise of hope when there is none (Psalms, Jer 29:11, Rom 5:1-11) , the promise of peace through the storms (Mark 4:35-41) .. that I cling to the cross of Christ.

I am preparing to preach on January 31st and my sermon is on the last few verses of Hebrews 11 and the countless martyrs and world changers who have walked before us in the strength of Christ. I am calling it and focusing on "Faith that does not fear".

One interesting thing that I have read is that the thing that Jesus commands more then any other thing during his time on this earth is: "Do not fear."

Do not fear, do not fear, do not fear. We serve an incredible God who died and conquered death, rising again on the third day .... for us. And he promises us eternity with Him.

We have no reason to fear.

My hearts, prayers and all my love to those who have lost loved ones, friends, or to whom this quake has hit close to home.

I know in our own church, there is an "earthquake" going on in the life of the Goodmans with 11 year old Zach and his step-dad both having cancer. At the same time. The Haiti quake reminds me of this quake in their lives as a church family, and the many quakes that we all will face, have faced, and are facing in life.

It is time to rise up and remember who Christ has called us to be. To pray without ceasing. To give sacrificially of our time and money (go to afterthought composer and give to the salvation army via your cell phone, or go to samaritans purse or whatever organization suits your fancy ... and GIVE, it's easy and fast, no excuses). To live boldly for the Gospel and in humility proclaim his Truth.

We will not fear, we will remember.

grace and peace,

ryan andré

Wray's email:

Hello Dear friends and family;

Thank you so much for your prayers and emails of concern for us and the people of Haiti. Jesus talked about the end times and said that there would be "earthquakes in various places", and unfortunately Haiti has turned out to be one of those various places.

We are so thankful that our internet service is still working, even though all phones aren't functioning and travel by road into Port au Prince from Cayes has been cut off.

Out here in Cayes we felt the earthquake and it shook buildings and rocked parked vehicles, but there was very little damage, and only a few people were injured when they fell running out of buildings. We are receiving staggering reports of the devastation in Port au Prince. Some are estimating that possibly as many as 100,000 people might die from this earthquake.

We have a medical team here and due to the concern of a possible tsunami, I drove out 2 hours on the difficult road to St. Martin to pick up the team last night. Pastor Taylor was right in the middle of his sermon when I interrupted him and told the team about the seriousness of the situation and the possibility of a tsunami. . The team grabbed some basic personal belongings and jumped into the Tipster (all 18 of them including our daughter Kara and the other translators) and we travelled back to City Lumiere arriving around 10:00 pm last night. We set up cots and they slept in the missionary kids school near our house.

This medical team would like to help in Port au Prince and they have many meds and resources with them, but we cannot travel by road into Port so have no way to get the help where it is most needed.

Tomorrow, we hope to do a medical clinic in the Renault area which should help the people of Cayes, and then we need to somehow find a way to get this team back to Port au Prince and out of Haiti. We have heard that the U.S state department has started to send planes into Haiti to evacuate Americans, so we are praying that something will work out..

Some of the people of Haiti believe that God is punishing them. It does seem that one disaster after another seems to wreak havoc on this impoverished nation.

Thanks again for your prayers for Haiti,

bye for now,

Love Rod, Debbie and gang

Lent!

Ok, Lent is still over a month away (official start is Wed, Feb 17).

I've never done Lent in any way shape or form, but I've always wanted to.

I somehow got to thinking and then praying about it last night (again, I've been thinking about it for several days - especially how fasting is a lost art) and I decided that this was a perfect year to do Lent for the first time, since I am focusing in on discipline in my life this year.

I think the thing I've always been intrigued with for Lent is the act of going without food. I don't knock and admire the many people who give up something else that you "love" for Lent .. Seriously, any sacrifice that is done intentionally for God is going to teach you about Him as long as it's not done out of selfishness.

But to me there is something so basic about going without food as a fast. We NEED it to survive. We CAN *survive* without shelter, clothes, coffee (barely lol), being married, etc ... Miserable as it might be, we can still technically survive. However, going without food ... that is interesting to me. Relying on God to sustain energy levels even while working, spending that time you would normally spend eating in prayer. There's more to it then that that I plan on taking part in, but, for now that is the majority. There are many, many references in the Bible to fasting - and it is nearly always about abstaining from food. So I want to give that a real try.

I've done plenty of 30 hour famines. I did a full 72 hour fast from food while I was at Briercrest, and it was awesome! That said, here is what I outlined for this year and my Lent adventure. I wrote this at 4am last night when I couldn't sleep (again! too much good stuff on my mind lately). I did a ton of reading on what many different denominations have done for Lent and decided I'd outline all *my* guidelines and rules of what I can and can not have during Lent.

I am going to start it 6 days after the official start and go right through not taking Sundays as "feasting days" because I'm starting late as I am in Mexico feasting with my family when Lent is supposed to start and I don't want that to be a downer for them that I can't eat with them.

Anyways, here's what I wrote, feel free to critique and ask questions:

Lent 2010

Ash Wednesday, Feb 17 to Holy Saturday, Apr 3

Excluding Sundays - Days of Feasting

Going to start Feb 23 and INCLUDE Sundays because of my time of feasting with my family in Mexico from Feb 13-20.

Fasting/Abstaining from FOOD (the basic necessity of life!)

- no eating from waking until 8pm, one small meal before 12am

- no eating of animals (meat)(sacrifice of life so that I may eat)

- no caffeine (potential reliance on a substance for energy)

- no juices/pops, etc (things that "fill you up")

May eat/drink after 8pm:

(no reason for food selections other then what I think will sustain me and be simple)

- vegetables/fruits

- rice

- bread

- cheese/butter

- soups without meat (even broths)

- fish (once a week, no crustaceans)

- water and herbal teas are ok during the day as a large part of my job meeting with people revolves around having something to drink with them

*No other exceptions through the time even for friends/parties .. I need to do this 40 days for God/My relationship to him, obedience. People I live with on a daily basis will understand despite my desire to please them. Because of starting later, there are no other flex days and I want it to be 40 days.

So .. ya, I'm actually really excited about this! I want to do it for God! I've got a little over a month to get in shape and ready for this endeavour!

It's crazy, I know, but, it'll be good!

grace and peace,

ryan andré

ps. I will need to find a good, tasty rooibos tea for during the day as I like a good hot drink. Any suggestions?